The Trouble Of Having An Active Mind

written by Tiia Öhman 21st November 2016

The biggest problem I have in life (and this is going to be very much the first world sort, mind) is having too many interests that I love equally. I’ve never really picked one favorite or one single path to go, but instead, have kept going at all these hobbies and in the end, some of them have somewhat become jobs for me.

I often wish I could’ve just gone with one. Because let’s face it, I’d be pretty far along now if I’d just picked one line of work and kept at it. But how can I? I love photography. I love writing. I love creating anything out of anything. I love entertainment, animals, arts, cultures, traveling, so many things I sometimes can’t even keep track of them.

I’d love to work in theatre. I dream about it all the time. I’m really into stage design and props, since (as far as I know) it sounds like a job I’d like: coming up with clever ways of making something look impressive with the lowest possible budget, while being surrounded by other creative people. Each creative in something different, but working towards a mutual goal.

arts-theatre-doodle

I also dream of escaping the digital life altogether, living on an island somewhere surrounded by rescue dogs and other animals. And charity. I have ideas for charities all the time.

My typical (active) day consists of writing, working on websites, code, graphic design and emailing tons of people like collaborators, journalists and even organizers. I get new ideas daily; they’re usually something related to Fangirl Quest, but often just random ideas of paintings I’d like to get done, fiction I’d like to write, projects I’d like to start.

I have a folder called “ideas” on my computer with hundreds of photos and graphics, stuff that reminds me of an idea that I’ve had at some point. The idea is usually a painting or a drawing, but it can be anything really: a design for a t-shirt, a piece of fan art, coloring book images, storylines for children’s books.

holiday-armadillo-doodle

My head is constantly filled with this stuff and there’s no rest. Yet, I often find myself just lying on the bed staring at nothing or Netflix, incapable of turning any of these ideas into reality. It makes me feel lazy and anxious, and I wishing I never had any creativity in me to begin with.

I often dream of having a manager. Someone who’d get me jobs and told me what to do, so I could escape all these ideas and random tasks I come up for myself.

wolfangel-gishwhes

I worry. I worry that it’s not possible to keep living this way. I worry that I’ll have to give all this stuff up and finally pick just one and go with it. Because how else am I going to find a career, a lifestyle, my place in the world?

(Told you. It’s a very first world problem.)

2 comments

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2 comments

Claire 15th December 2016 at 7:00 am

Good Morning Tiia,
I guess we all worry at some point, but there is something worse than worrying and it is giving up. Why would you have to give up any of the stuff that makes you, you? You are not alone lying on the bed staring at nothing (or Netflix) waiting for the ideas to turn into something. At least, you are working in the creative branch somehow, which makes you luckier than most; then finding the right career to find your place in the world… hmm, it feels like you already have your place, it might not feel like it to you right now but give it a little more time it’ll come.
I know, maybe the monthly income might not be what you’d like it to be to make ends meet, etc. Then you should get a plan B and keep plan A alive… as alive as you can. Just random thoughts from someone who knows exactly what you are going through with this worrying thing-y.
Take care of yourself!

Kind regards,
Claire

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Tiia Öhman 20th December 2016 at 7:53 pm

Oops, sorry, took me a while to notice this comment! Got caught in the spam filter.

I know what you mean, I am pretty lucky to get to work in this industry. I’m not rich, but at least I’m happy. Plan B sounds like a good… well, plan B. I’m always weighing the options, I think I just need to make a proper decision and then stick with it. Maybe 2017 will be the year when I’ll find the perfect solution.

Hoping it’s a good one for you too! Happy holidays & thanks for the lovely words 🙂

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